The best remedy is often being with family and we were blessed to have my cousin Lisa visit from Florida this weekend. Lisa’s mom Joan, may her memory be a blessing, and my mother were first cousins. We have only met about 5 times in our lives and re-connected a few years ago but I reached out to her and she immediately responded by showing up with love. We found out that not only do we share our great grandmother Ana Spatz’s features, we share a love for Chanel & Birkin bags, black cashmere sweaters, NYC (where she grew up), Broadway shows, Bloomingdales, and all things sparkly.
It was a rainy Saturday here. We baked Mandelbrot, her grandmother’s recipe who is also my great aunt Miriam which was delicious, visited my mom, and since both of us never had one, imagined that this would be what having a sister was like.
We both dressed in almost the same outfit down to the slim jeans, black ballet slippers and black tops when we went out the next day and I can’t wait to visit her next time after my mom is better.
My husband Arlin arrived with a car full of Philly odds and ends as Lisa was heading to the airport and now things have quieted down as he went back to work. Lisa even ran into a good friend who lives in my building as she was leaving and previously had no idea her was here. Small world, right?!
My mom had a follow-up doctor’s appointment today and I am force feeding her mini meals. She has lost a lot of weight.
Tomorrow I venture out on my own to experience ballet class in Syracuse again.
Baby, take a bow!
-Penny 9/8/25
I told you on Labor Day things had been unstable in Syracuse but little did I know they were about to get even more so.
On Tuesday my mother had her post shoulder fracture check-up and her shoulder is healing well. We were able to get in under the limit as #15 out of 16 patients taken as walk-ins down on the lower extremity floor and to our surprise, her right leg was not broken, only bruised. The doctor suggested a walker. He said she is on her third strike. We had one by the afternoon and she is using it.
However, she soon began vomiting and ended up back in the hospital. Wednesday morning I called 911 again secretly nervous that they are getting to know me and we spent the day in the ER. She was admitted and released on Thursday afternoon and has a goodie bag of anti nausea meds along with a hiatal hernia mini meal diet regimen to hopefully keep her fed.
As you can see, she made it to the beauty parlor this morning and next week I am getting low lights because some woman in the elevator asked me if the man in the corner who looked older than me was my son and it turns out he is 42 so he COULD be my son but it shook me to the core so I asked Al who does Liza’s hair if he thought he could do mine and he said of course and that my hair should match my rockin’ Pilates body and now I agree!
While there, I overheard a conversation about the importance of Holocaust education in schools now, especially with the rise of antisemitism in the U.S. They were saying how watching the Ken Burns documentary should be mandatory and I have to admit I have not seen it. I don’t usually eavesdrop but since this is an existential point for my people I asked if they were also Jewish. They were not. I wear my Magen David & Israel pendant with pride along with my yellow ribbon for the hostages and their families. All I could do was thank them for caring. Righteous women among nations of haters. Maybe it’s not too late after all.
We also did some exercising and Mom is doing better. I have begun my Qigong practice again along with some necessary self care. This may not make sense but part of me has died. I feel like a caterpillar going through metamorphosis. I have been abandoned by the people I trusted the most and the betrayal trauma is causing cognitive dissonance but I am determined to make it through this storm, one moment at a time.
Shabbat Shalom with Love,
-Penny 9/5/25
Happy Labor Day!
Today I plugged my hot water kettle in for tea and the outlet next to it began filling the kitchen with smoke. I called 911 and they were here within moments. I had been asked by the operator to be prepared to evacuate and as I began to leave I realized that I was walking out of the apartment with nothing at all and in that moment my mind went blank. I knew I should be taking something with me and I instantly forgot all of my “To go” protocols and lists and simply headed for the door. I thanked the firemen a dozen times for being there. The outlet has melted and the wall of outlets cannot be used until they are all replaced. There is also a leaky elbow pipe flooding under my kitchen sink and a roof leak in the kitchen ceiling by the skylight to be addressed. I am trying again to make myself a cup of tea.
Many changes. New beginnings.
This was my mom yesterday. She is standing and getting stronger again. Her face says it all I think so I am not elaborating.
Happy Labor Day!
-Penny 9/1/25
It is Saturday afternoon and yesterday my mom who gets weekly blowouts from Al, who is hairdresser on call for goddesses like Liza M & Julie A on Broadway IS the artist who makes her ready for the bright lights of Syracuse each week. Let’s just say that mom was a little too confident. She wanted to drive, was feeling good and walked on her own even though I/we tried to assist. After the color, cut, and blow-dry we went for Chinese food and she hustled in and proceeded to step up onto an elevated floor where the booths were, trip, fall down and injure her right leg. Her good leg.
We got through dinner, I asked her/told her that she is like a porcelain doll and has to let me “spot” her and protect her. Seriously that is why I am here. I drove the car home, she is using a crutch but went right to bed. We are icing, using bio-freeze and all of the things that just helped her broken left side in rehab. I am also doing light therapy. She doesn’t want to eat and I am watering down apple juice and cutting things into mini bites. It took all day for her to eat a few apple slices and a cracker with peanut butter. That upset her stomach and she is living on papaya tablets.
Nobody really talks about THIS part of osteoporosis, how one of the side effects of losing several inches in height is that your rib cage lands on your hip bones and compresses all of your internal organs, your esophagus, and stomach so nothing works well. Oh well, a day in the life right?
I walked up the 12 flights to my apartment this afternoon too. I have to keep challenging myself. I miss the beach walks in Carmel. Up until now I had been taking the elevator but as long as I have on my safe shoes I am going to take advantage of the health benefits that come with living on the highest floor. Kind of like parking far away but on steroids. I have to say that I felt pretty strong until I passed 6 and by 12 I threw up a little in my mouth. Sorry, TMI!
Besame!
-Penny 8/30/25
I am standing in front of the room divider barricade that I built to protect my mom and anyone else from the dangers of having 3 sliding glass doors that lead to indoor patios. It could be a tripping hazard which is how she fell to begin with or a simple mirage walk thru so I went with Ikea’s build your own wall unit and pretend it’s a house of cards all in 2 hours. As you can see, I don’t have stuff so I am decorating with fans, free weights and a few family photos.
I’m also still waiting for my new slippers to arrive after the poop accident of last week that left my old ones too gross to keep. My feet are not as big as they look.
The good news is that mom is doing really well and we are all and I mean all of us are hoping she can come home this week.
I am busy cleaning, decoration, journaling, and coming to terms with the fact that my life as I knew it is over and that this plot twist is a good one.
I am heading to the rehab center tomorrow and wish I could just break her out!
And, it looks like my Seaweed bread innovation Sea & Flour may be in stores soon. Taste good, feel good, do good.
-Penelope 8/25/25
These rug grippers are amazing. They are super sticky and yesterday I was busy attaching them to every single rug corner in my new apartment so nobody and by nobody I mean my mom, will trip, fall, break, and have to spend several weeks mending in a rehab facility.
I remember baby-proofing my house before my kids were born and obsessively buying outlet prong inserts so they wouldn’t stick a fork into one of them and cabinet locks and baby gates. This is kind of like that but backwards. There are a zillion things to consider. I have also put shelves along all potential steps that would cause a tripping hazard while attempting to still keep the rooms pleasing. It is working and I am excited to have her home in potentially eleven days.
My mom is surprising all of her therapists and is now walking unassisted and learning how to bend over for little doggie needs and sit to stand and get in and out of a car. Today I replaced her sticky sole socks with slippers and she asked for a bra. Gotta keep the girls looking good!
Her extra special excitement is that her room has a resident ghost who is fond of turning the light over her roomies bed on at around 3:00AM. If you knew my mom, (apparently the staff of Eastern State Penitentiary does due to their annual ghost tours and her frequent inquiries) you would know that having a ghost as a roommate is simply the icing on the cake to this extraordinary experience. Without getting too far into the weeds simply know when I was a little girl that she used to read me ghost stories before bed and remind me that these were the real ghost stories and not the make believe ones. I honestly don’t think I had a good night’s sleep until I had someone to share my bed with to help conquer the nightmares.
BOO!!!
-Penelope 8/22/25
I love open spaces and can’t function well with clutter, even the organized kind which is what my mom enjoys.
This is my new studio work space. The columns are a bit much but they were here (and there are 2 more) so I am going with the drama and am thrilled to have such a beautiful space to live and work in. It is a cloudy and rainy day here in Syracuse and I am trying to put the new pieces together of my life. What is my vision?
My mom is doing great in therapy and can now walk without a cane with supervision. Her progress is faster than expected and she lets everyone know that she doesn’t need extra PT because she has me… I on the other hand am encouraging her to accept all PT and OT services and hope that they go to her house when she leaves the facility.
I am also looking forward to having her use the LIV platform from Maradyne that you can learn more about on the products page as it will help with balance and bone building. It is on a timer that is set for 10 minutes and all you do is stand with your best posture and foot alignment.
Speaking of foot alignment, my right foot had been bothering me due to an extra little bone I have that sometimes causes inflammation and I had packed my toe liners which alleviate it but finally found them. The pain had been traveling between my hip and foot and was distracting. Now that I found them I am fine but it made standing and dancing difficult. These are another surprisingly easy fix and why I feature them too.
I have been busy unpacking and building and planting my apartment garden. For me, the vision always starts with making my living space comfortable and building my sensory awareness toolkit that brings my vibration to neutral. When I am under too much emotional stress I have a Herpes breakout which many of you probably get also. The virus is part of the shingles family and is both painful and exhausting. Having music, flavors, fragrances, artwork, and textures that bring me joy help me to reduce stress and keep me healthy.
My toolkit consists of a silk quilted throw and comforter on my bed, Chanel #5 in a giant bottle that my husband surprised me with after one of his trips out of the country, foods that I love, coffee, a favorite painting hanging in each room, listening to YoYo Ma (I cried when we met!), and keeping my environment super clean, tidy, and clutter-free.
Thank you for reading and for your comments and emails. Lots of love!
-Penelope 8/20/25
Do you appreciate the little things that we often take for granted? I do. This appreciation / awareness began when I was a sophomore at Wells College in Aurora, NY. That spring I met a student named Penny who was in one of my classes. We found out that we had both been preemies the same year with the only difference being that she was given oxygen. I have heard lots of stories over the years that because my lungs were so immature I would forget to breathe and turn blue. There was a nurse 24/7 at my incubator who would tap on the glass to startle me back to life. To this day I have a horrible startle reflex. While most of the physical trauma I suffered from the circumstances of my birth have been invisible to others - like chronic food allergies and stomach aches and a desperate need to be held which often led me to choose horrible bedfellows - Penny’s were not. This Penny was blind and her physique challenged. She used a cane to walk and simply asked me that if I was also less than 2 pounds at birth then why wasn’t I blind? I don’t know if my mother remembers but I called her sobbing. Those were the days when the dorms had one payphone in the hall for everyone to share and I stood there hysterical. Nobody asked if I was okay. I wasn’t.
So from then on I realized that LUCKY PENNY wasn’t just a phrase for me. It was a gift.
When I was married to my kid’s father and his drinking and online sexcapades became unbearable I reached out to my Rabbi at the time in Albany, NY and he taught me to say the Modeh Ani prayer every morning. I love that gratitude for “mundane” blessings are such an important part of my Jewish faith. Recently I started saying the Asher Yatzar Blessing: “Praised are you, Lord our God King of the Universe, who with wisdom fashioned the human body, creating openings and organs. It is known before Your exalted throne that should but one of them, by being blocked or opened, fail to function, it would be impossible to exist. Praised are You, Lord, Healer of all flesh who performs wonders.”
This prayer is said after using the bathroom and washing your hands. I love this prayer and am memorizing it.
Using the bathroom is often taken for granted as many things are until the ability to do them is gone. Yesterday, my mother was able to walk with a cane into the bathroom with assistance and use the toilet. It has been 19 days since the fall. Today she is taking her first shower. I don’t know why but I remembered my brother Randy and I used to use the phrase “Stinky the Bellybutton!” That is you Mom so I am happy for your shower and your toileting and am grateful God has given us these blessings as I know you must be even more so after everything.
Every time I use the bathroom I also think of the hostages left alive buried in Gaza and denied all human dignities all because they are Jews. We Jews don’t take any of our blessings for granted. Let my people go! Is anyone listening?
Oh, I moved in yesterday and everything is still in the process of readiness. What a journey. When I woke up in my new bedroom this morning I was amazed by how beautiful the penthouse view of this city is. My mother taught me to hate Syracuse, NY and be ashamed of my birthplace because she hated living here. She was born and raised in Los Angeles until she was 10 years old and used to complain and cry daily about living here in Syracuse. After each speech she would say. “God forbid I die here!” In case anyone wonders why my brother and I left and didn’t want to come back, it was because we were taught that leaving was how we would thrive. God please let me thrive. I live here now.
-Penelope 8/16/25
This is my mother’s second puppy mill rescue Milly, who spent the first two years of life in a cage. This morning she let me hold her and cuddle her, and as you can see even dress her. This anxious doggie melted into my arms and even refused a treat for more “keppy rubs”. Keppy is Yiddish for head. I understood her deep need for physical touch and to be held. It was three months after my birth that my mother was able to hold me for the first time. Once I grew to be 5 pounds in weight I could go home. I had lived in a glass cage, attended to by nurses but not held and loved.
We all need physical touch. We all need hugs to calm our nervous systems and have a connection to source. I am hoping that Millie’s fears settle down and by the time my mother comes home she will have a less psychotic dog.
My mom is slowly recovering. She asked for clothes and mini washcloths. Her shoulder x-ray showed progress. I was going to share some pictures of the yellow-green-brown-black bruising up and down her leg and behind her calf but they are really horrible.
Next post soon!!!
-Penelope 8/14/25
Fortunately for me my mother has several sources of dark chocolate to raid. Filled with minerals like iron, magnesium, zinc, copper, and phosphorus, the health benefits are plentiful and tonight I decided to go for the dark chocolate because it helps to lower cortisol levels. Cortisol is our stress hormone. Too much cortisol is also bad for our bones but lately I just need to calm down. It was instinctive, the chocolate choice. It helped and I am grateful it was here.
I am having a hard time seeing my mom in pain and knowing that she is often waiting for hours for pain medicine or a bedpan when she pushes the call button. I can’t be there 24/7 and I know I am not meant to be. I am doing my best. I usually stay for 3 hours at a time. The dogs are testing me. This morning I stepped in poop and walked around the house without realizing it. I have emotional responses to clutter and like my living environment super clean. It was all too much today.
I am feeling so caught in this limbo of emotions and events that are not my own but hers and yet I have taken responsibility. I don’t regret my decision but I am so unfamiliar with my new life that I feel lost. The last time I lived in Syracuse it was not good.
My vision for my life was colored by hers for most of my past and yet we are very different people. I am glass half full, she is glass half empty. When we meet in the middle it can be challenging. Once I had the freedom to grow into my authentic and happy self and who I truly am my life looked very different and was very positive. Coming back to Syracuse where so much sadness and trauma occured is a risk for me that I told myself I am finally strong and healthy enough to take. Today I began to wonder.
But tomorrow is a new day and I move into my new apartment on Thursday. No, it’s not where I had planned to land but I am determined to give it a chance. I cannot let memories and mementos from our shared past color my future. This is simply a plot twist and without those, life gets boring.
Moral of today; eat more chocolate!
-Penelope 8/12/25
The picture is the cover of a book I wrote and sent to my mom of the exercises she should do to well - prevent falling down. I found it neatly stacked underneath the copy of Vanity Fair on her coffee table.
What is that saying? You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.
It occurred to me last night that so much has been said about the hereditary elements of osteoporosis and yes, I also have it. But my mother and I have chosen very different paths towards wellness. Hers is very traditional western based and mine has been all about lifestyle modifications, diet, exercise, and a non-medicated approach. When you put us side by side, my way seems to be more successful. I am still 5’5”. My mom who used to be 5’2” is now 4’10”. If you only look at that it is telling. Mom has done everything the doctors recommended. I have not.
Yesterday the beauty cart lady was in my mom’s room giving manicures. Mom didn’t want one and all I could think of was the episode on REBA where her daughter was volunteering in a nursing home and had given all of the old ladies makeovers. It was so funny and now my mom had her own personal makeover lady. Was she going to get a pair of sweats that read JUICY on her tush? I soooo wanted to say that since my mom wasn’t getting a manicure I could use one but thought better of it.
It is day 14 since the fall and counting. Yesterday mom seemed a bit stronger although they don’t do therapy on weekends. BioFreeze is her new best friend for her broken shoulder.
Her friend Alice had me over for dinner last night and we ran into Karen and her grandson in the hall. I am easing into this new reality and am grateful for all of the empathy and kindness coming my way.
-Penelope 8/11/25
First I would like to note that my mom must have gotten a mani pedi right before she fell. So far she is the most fashionable patient in rehab and today is back in pajamas and not a hospital gown for the first time. For some reason it is VERY HOT there and everyone sweats, even the staff. We have been told we CAN bring a fan and CAN'T open a window and that maintenance HAS been informed.Yesterday when I took these pictures they were afraid her left foot also had a cracked bone due to the swelling, numbness, and limited Range of Motion. Because of that her OT/PT support team couldn’t do any weight-bearing work for her left leg which is now part of the order.
Last night I ate a ton of candy and I don’t eat candy so then I drank about a half gallon of water so I wouldn’t get a crazy sugar headache or night sweats. I also binge watched “Say yes to the dress.”
My heart goes out to my mom because every time she puts weight on her left side the pain is so intense that she gets nauseous. That should stop soon.
Today I was busy unpacking and getting my new apartment ready for the onslaught of activity that the upcoming week has scheduled. Toni visited my mom.
What can I say? My entire life looks is completely different than what I thought it would be last month at this time.
My mom has two little dogs that don’t leave her house. I like to go out for walks but they do not walk. They are cat dogs. They won’t even let me touch them. I am sleeping too much because I have no routine right now. All I know is that I belong close so I am available. I signed her power of attorney. We used to joke that I was the medical care proxy because my brother would have pulled the plug. He died in 2011. It was August 18th. Being here in my mom’s house with pictures from our past, my brother and father who died in 1978 and my brother’s 3 children who my sister-in-law refused to let us see after the funeral and I haven’t seen since is a surreal experience for me. There is a reason I don’t keep family pictures out. I had a broken family. I need to be in my own home again so I have some kind of normal while I navigate my new role.
Yesterday my mom was remembering how she used to call the hospital each morning after I was born to make sure I survived through the night. (I was a 3 month preemie in 1962 weighing under 2 lbs. and they told my parents not to get attached because I was going to die.) Now I call my mom each morning to see how her night was. The irony of our roles reversing. I had thought that too.
And, some good news. Because of my skillset and expertise in gentle exercise, after speaking to her therapists they are hoping that I can give a workshop to the staff. We shall see. I need to keep working.
-Penelope 8/9/25
That smile you see is because late yesterday Mom moved into her new rehabilitation facility in Jamesville, New York. So far, so good. It isn’t home but it sure is filled with kind people and has a good reputation. This morning I brought over a few things and tomorrow I meet with her staff to go over her prognosis and find out what we have in store.
I am grateful she is safe and being well cared for. I wish this hadn’t happened and the stress of it feels heavy today.
I stopped off and picked up a dozen donuts for the nursing staff on my way in to visit this morning as an introduction. I don’t eat donuts but most people like a sweet treat I think.
They gave me bio-freeze which I rubbed on her broken shoulder. I hope it will help. She is getting very stiff and blistery from being in bed for so long in the same position. The food is better here but still pretty industrial. I brought her big water bottle with the straw. The dogs are doing fine. She was worried.
Syracuse has changed a lot and what I have seen so far is pretty dodgy but I just left Carmel so it is probably unfair to compare.
-Penelope 8/7/25
Part of mom’s rehab involves having her sit in a chair and straighten her left arm which is the one with the broken shoulder. Her left leg has 2 fractures below the knee which means that she is not able to bear weight on her left side at all and cannot use her left hand to balance or hold onto anything because she will crumble if she falls. Here she was yesterday while the OT was gently working with her. By the time she was able to be helped out of the chair her left leg and foot were swollen terribly and she was exhausted and in more pain. Ice is her best friend now (or maybe I am) but I keep reminding her that with broken bones we count down the days. Today is day 9 in her recovery. Still in the hospital. Ironically we can see our apartment building blocks away from the window of her room on the 4th floor.
By the way, I was able to use imagery and breath work to guide her through this and her therapist was intrigued and impressed by my empowering approach. Somehow I wish I had the power to bring my techniques to a greater audience. This is needed.
Last night I taught my online group tap class. Teaching is keeping me knowing that my larger purpose is not broken like her bones are. Although I too have osteoporosis, we have each taken different paths in treatment. At 63, I am older than my mother was when she was diagnosed and chose a more traditional western approach to this situation. I was officially diagnosed at 45 and immediately focused on movement modifications, lifestyle, and nutrition. My mom instead was advised to go on drugs. At 50, I had a parathyroid tumor removed which they said had gone unchecked for at least 10 years, all contributing to my bone loss. I have doubled down on mind-body-spirit wellness and it is working for me. I hold no judgment but would encourage people to take a conservative approach and try the simple things before going full throttle down the path of drugs and doom. As you can see, fractures are not easy to heal from.
We are still trying to convince the insurance company that she needs to be transferred to a rehab facility. They are saying that she can come home and just have therapists come to the house twice weekly. I do not have the skill set, strength, or ability to do what the professionals are doing to keep my mom alive and prevent her from breaking another bone and am praying that on appeal the insurance company decision makers see that she needs the 8-12 more weeks of intense care and therapy. Day 9, and counting.
-Penelope 8/6/25
Zoom teaching is working out and I am looking forward to my new space. I am dancing on my tap floor board and working on percussion for tonight’s class.
But, back at the ranch, things are challenging to say the least. My mom is still in the hospital. Unfortunately the insurance company for no reason any of the medical staff treating her can understand, has denied to approve her transfer to a rehabilitation facility. We found this out yesterday afternoon and they immediately filed an appeal. This is something an 84-year old should not have to deal with. My mom taught for 30 years in the Syracuse City School District and still has former students reaching out to say she is the person they appreciate the most.
I called the retired teacher’s union number for help and after a long wait and being hung up on once, they said I would have to contact her employer. I called the school district here and was told everyone had left for the day.
I am so out of my comfort zone and have been spending my time cleaning and visiting and wishing that her 2 little dogs would let me at least pet them. So much for animal therapy. One of them hides under the bed and if I stand too close she bats my ankles and each time it reminds me of my monsters under the bed childhood fears. They miss my mom and love that I am wearing her jeans because I smell familiar.
My husband is helping his 90-year old mom recover from eye surgery. She needs almost constant care with drops and more. His cousin fell yesterday and broke her hip while in late stage cancer treatment. We are both being pulled to our respective limits while trying to work full-time.
As everyone our age has told me, these are the decades for this. I don’t believe that God leads us to paths we cannot walk on. I am choosing to flap ball change my way along this one and although I may be making lots of mistakes because this is all new for me, I am leading with love and ever grateful that at least I am here to help even if I don’t know what I’m doing.
-Penelope 8/5/25
It’s Saturday and I spent most of the day clearing up potential fall hazards for when my mother gets back into her apartment. I know she is used to her space but I am determined to make sure this kind of accident doesn’t happen again so I cleaned, sorted, straightened up, and yes I made sure it was okay with her before I went to work.
We thought she was going to be at the rehab facility by now but it has been delayed, partly due to paper work but also because her pain level is hovering between 8 and 10, her leg swelled up so they have to be careful about blood clots, and since she agreed to stronger pain meds they are now upsetting her stomach and she is very nauseous. She is sipping flat ginger ale. I suggested flat Coke which always helps my tummy or I offered to make fresh celery juice.
Speaking of tummies and eating, I am sticking to a savory smoothie diet most of the time simply because I can’t eat when I am stressed and am trying to keep a healthy and anti-inflammatory diet. It seems to be working. The picture is of last night’s dinner. It has arugula, cucumbers, avocado, fresh garlic, ginger root, a bit of sea salt and water. A client in Carmel in her late 80’s turned me onto savory smoothies which I prefer to sweet ones. She drinks one daily and is in amazing shape.
Do you think I can get my mom to taste it? She loves her sweets.
I taught my first private session here online yesterday and all went well. Tomorrow we begin tap class again and I am feeling good because the portable floor and shoes got here today. I tried the Capezios and followed the instructions to order a half size up but should have ordered a half size down! I will have to wear thick socks for class Sunday and will return them when the new ones get here. My Blochs are in transit. I left so quickly after hearing about my mom that I didn’t pack in a sensible way.
So that is what is going on. The people in this building are all very kind to me and it shows how loved my mother is here. It makes me understand a bit more why she didn’t want to move to California and I am glad I could handle the latest plot twist in my life gracefully. See you on the dance floor! If you are reading and you know me and I didn’t get to say goodbye, please know I would have.
-Penelope 8/1/25
I got to the hospital yesterday afternoon and although it may not look like it to you, she is better than I expected.
The beautiful lady in the middle picture with my mother is her girlfriend Toni who has been helping non-stop since she fell. She also picked me up from the airport and came to Crouse Hospital with me which is a place that I hate to go to. This is because although I was born there, it was where my father had his brain cancer surgery when I was 15 and I always think of that day when they were shaving his head and coloring the incision points with a fat black marker and I remember thinking how strange it was that they were coloring on his scalp with the same marker that I used to decorate poster board projects. He was making “Rocky” air punches to let my brother and I know that he was a fighter but he was also crying while the curly black locks of his hair fell into the little plastic tray and onto the floor.
Toni also took me to the grocery store and we looked at my new apartment together which is being painted and stuff is everywhere. Thank you Toni, you are an angel in our lives!
I have amazing news. My mother heads to the rehab facility as soon as today but most likely tomorrow. It is a 4-star rated rehab, the 5-star didn’t have any beds available and because I will be checking in daily I think we are good.
Everyone has asked how I am doing. Today is better than yesterday. It feels like the plot of a Hallmark movie. “…A woman’s life takes an unexpected turn when her mother’s sudden injury brings her back to her hometown and she starts everything over…” Everyone here has been very kind. My mom has many angels watching over her. When I got to her apartment there was a note from some neighbors on her floor with their numbers offering help.
Her 2 little rescue dogs hid from me until this morning. I left in such haste that I hadn’t packed much so today I am wearing my mom’s clothes. As soon as the dogs smelled her on me they started running around barking! So you see, I can even help dogs do a special happy dance! That makes me really happy.
-Penelope 7/31/25
I am in Philly in the Admiral’s Club waiting for my last connection into Syracuse. I accidentally tried the Delta Club first because I am so tired that I forgot what airline I am on. It has not escaped me that I am the adult in charge now and I don’t even know where I am. It is also strange to be waiting for a flight in the city my main home is in and not stopping there first. Everything feels strange right now, kind of like I am swimming in air.
My mom is still waiting to find out what comes next and I have been able to text with her. She asked for her hairbrush which I think is a great sign. The physical therapist is coming today. My girlfriend Nicola is the best caregiver I know and she actually has all of the skills I will need to help my mom now. I wish she was here with us.
The morning Mom fell, my 90-year old mother-in-law had eye surgery to save what is left of her left eye. She is doing well I think. Both women have refused any pain medicine stronger than Tylenol because they don’t want to have to navigate chronic constipation side effects of stronger drugs. I thought this was a huge revelation because here are two elderly women who can probably benefit from a stronger med now and they are so distraught over probable constipation that they are willing to suffer needlessly. This says so much about female GI issues - which by the way are always on my mind when I travel long distances - and our general lack of understanding of gut health, inflammation, dehydration, and the unique microbiomes between women and men.
Needless to say, men will take the drugs and most likely not worry about pooping or pain.
Anyway, I am boarding soon and am grateful that my mother’s friend Toni (not to be confused with my oldest son, Tony) is meeting me at the airport and that I have a system of supplements, drinking water, and eating light that usually keeps my tummy happy.
Looking forward to brushing my mom’s hair and happy she found a knot in the back with the hand she can use, and hoping that this is the first day of a successful healing journey, and that with my help she will be ready for her close up”! Too many ands, I know…
-Penelope 7/30/25
Here I am a few months ago with my mom when she came to visit in Carmel.
Yesterday I got an emergency alert phone call from the LIVELY alert system that she had fallen and the ambulance was on the way. I had spoken to her an hour earlier and she was fine. We were talking about mattresses for my new bed and she had just ordered me the same one she has. It was a “normal” morning for us. I said I would call her later and went to work. I missed the call because I turn my ringer off when I teach.
This is what I was hoping to prevent by getting to her soon. I am very grateful that I have been able to speed up my plans to get back, including an emergency dental procedure yesterday afternoon and I am drawing on my faith, my friends, and all of my strength. Last night I decided that I would pretend I was Wonder Woman I think I am standing a bit taller now!
Accidents often happen at home. She tripped and fell at home. Not a reason to fracture 3 bones unless osteoporosis is severe.
I finally spoke to the attending physician this morning. She broke 2 bones in her left leg and 1 bone in her left arm. I am really glad that she is right-handed. They plan on operating on her leg today and said she will need to go to a rehab center prior to returning home.
For now, I appreciate all of your prayers and help. I don’t know what to expect but I DO know that the Lively necklace probably saved her.
In 2017 I fell outside on black ice and broke my shoulder. I don’t know what I would have done if my cell phone had not been within reach because it was early in the morning and nobody was around to help. The pain was excruciating and I couldn't move. Look at the picture of us. I am taller and stronger than my mother and I couldn’t move when I fell. I can only imagine her pain and angst right now and am so grateful that she let me give her a Lively necklace for Mother’s Day this year and that she was wearing it when she fell.
If you or someone you love is at risk for fracture, buy the Lively alert necklace.
-Penelope 7/29/25
I had to write and tell you how much I LOVE my coffee bliss each morning. Plus, it is filled with spices that are amazing for our health and I’ll get to that but really I just love everything about coffee.
I love how it smells. I love grinding the beans and seeing the texture and colors. Generally I drink dark roast now. When I was in college at Syracuse University, I had a part-time job at Old Erie Coffee House. It was a family owned shop and it was superb. This was in 1981 and there were huge burlap sacks of coffee beans that we would, scoop, weigh, and grind for customers. It was before coffee shops were any more than diners or donut shops so this was exotic and also, not for the moms, like mine who bought giant cans of Folger’s or Maxwell House which was what I grew up with. The shop sold coffee makers and French presses and lots of imported teas and spices. This was when my love affair with coffee began. Little did I know that decades later I would tour coffee plantations in Rwanda, Jamaica, Hawaii, and South America as part of my job with Changing Tastes or devise a recipe to put seaweed into coffee brownies for a famous ice cream company in my goal to make fun food more nutritious for bone health with Sea & Flour.
I look forward to my mornings and am grateful that I don’t have to rush them. As soon as I open my eyes I recite the Modeh Ani prayer out loud. This is one of my favorite Jewish traditions and I taught it to my children when they were young. We say “I am thankful to you source of all who lives and exists for restoring my soul with compassion, great is your faithfulness, Amen.” You don’t have to be Jewish to say this morning prayer and I promise you, it is life changing. Mary Morrisey is a powerful spiritual leader and she teaches about the power of expressing gratitude for each new day upon awakening too.
I always drink a large glass of water first thing because it is my easiest glass of the day. We have fasted all night when we sleep and our bodies need hydration. Then, it is time to make my coffee bliss drink. The spices I add help with cognitive function, memory, joint health, are rich in antioxidants and help to prevent inflammation. I also love the taste. Although I don’t drink milk, I love cream or half & half in my coffee. The fat is important to help metabolize protein and the honey has a myriad of health benefits too.
It’s the little things that make our lives special. My youngest son and I still love to share a “little cup of happiness” together although when he was young, that meant cocoa for him and a mocha for me. A bit of magnesium rich chocolate in the afternoon is always a good idea, especially if you can combine it with coffee!
When you start to be grateful for small blessings it’s when the bigger miracles happen. Not everyone can have that morning cup of happiness. I am grateful that I can.
-Penelope 7/27/25
Welcome to my first blog post. My intention is to share my ongoing story not just of my bone health but the unexpected journeys that have become the adventures I live each day. I am incredibly grateful for my life and the courage I am finding to finally, yes finally be comfortable with my authentic self. Thank you for reading. I hope you decide to be my dance partner.
“Up until now, you didn’t have me.” That is what I have begun to let my anxious clients know when they come to class feeling doubtful about their ability to use their bodies the way they need to and I say the same to you - up until now, you didn't have me, but now you do. And I am so happy to have you in my life too. Thank you!
My name is Penny but I almost always use Penelope or sometimes my Hebrew name that is Pnina. I grew up in Syracuse, New York and as you will soon find out, I am moving back there in a few short days to be close to my aging mom. This move is a big part of what has inspired me to be more transparent. I have chosen to move from a life that I love in a place that I love to be with a woman I love, the first woman I ever loved not because she asked me to in so many words, but because I am 63 and she is 84 and she needs me and I still need her.
We have lived apart since I was 17 and left for college. We will still live apart but I am moving into an apartment in her building and am excited to be part of this new adventure. I hope with all of my heart that I can bring the magic of what I have been teaching and living for decades to her and that she will feel better too.
My mother has osteoporosis too, and has lost at least 6 inches of height. Her stomach is very high and it makes eating and digesting food a challenge. The compression and GERD are not things that come up in doctor or hospital visits but these are common when vertebral compression fractures put your internal organs into positions that they aren’t meant to go into. Have you ever tried to wear too tight clothes all day or close an over stuffed suit case? Imagine that these are the kinds of things being forced on your beautiful body when you have severe osteoporosis and don’t know that the posture you are living with is making it worse. …Now you have me,Mom.
-Penelope 7/26/25